Christmas Shopping Pointers

Like it or not (I'm a not) the Christmas shopping season is upon us. The crowds at the mall are swelling, much like the frustration of its shoppers, and it's easy to get caught up in that. I'm going to give a few tips that I think might help you get through this holiday season a little bit easier when battling the retail monster that is Christmas Shopping. Sure, I don't necessarily do these things myself but that's because I'm a masochist. Pain is my god. These are tips I've observed customers putting into practice when I'm working on the other side of the counter and they seem like such good ideas! So, here we go!

1. Only pay for things using cash or debit. This may seem obvious to people but there are still quite a few individuals who put everything onto credit, thinking that hey, they can just pay for it all after Christmas and the money they get from the holiday season can help. That or they really want to get so-and-so a certain gift and they may not have the cash right now but figure they can just pay it off later. It's a trap. Come January, these people are absolutely stunned at how much they spent this way and how much they now owe their creditors. It happens every year. January/February are the months the credit card companies enjoy because they know they're going to be able to squeeze some big bucks out of people. Don't get caught in this. Use only cash or debit when going out to buy everything. It helps you stay on budget.
2. Have a budget. If you're only buying Christmas gifts for a couple people this isn't too big a point but many people are out there buying gifts for quite a few different people and the amount of money you spend can wrack up quickly. Have an idea of how much you're able (not just willing) to spend before heading out to the mall. It'll save you from whipping out the credit card and getting caught in the trap I just previously mentioned.
3. Make a (literal) list of people you're buying for. Maybe you're a better person than I and mentally have a list of people you want to buy gifts for. The list is huge, made up of everyone from your mother to the alley cat down the road. My suggestion? Write the list out. It'll help you narrow your gift receivers down so that you're not buying Bob from Accounting an iPhone 4S. Sure, it's nice to want to get tons of people gifts but keep in mind not only your budget but also how creepy it might be buying gifts for people you barely talk to. That's what Secret Santas are for.
4. Have an idea what gift you're getting for whom before heading out to the mall. This is a point I could really get behind but I'm lucky; I only have to buy gifts for two people and they're very easy to shop for. When the number of people you're giving gifts to hits the double digits it's best to have a game plan. Again, this goes back to helping you stay within budget and not just buying things willy nilly that may look shiny in the window (and deadly to your wallet). Remember that stores everywhere are conspiring to take your money and are conspiring to take as much of it as they possibly can. They're going to make everything look shiny and awesome. All the newest gadgets are going to be thrown into your face for you to drool over and ponder. Big "SALE SALE SALE" signs are going to be everywhere. It's too easy to be drawn in. Get your gameplan down and take down the terrorist that is retail.
5. Go alone. I can just hear the protests for this one but hear me out. If you go to the mall alone with your "Kill the terrorist!" attitude and warpaint on, you're going to get only what you've planned to get and move on. Done. Easy peasy. Take someone with you and that can throw everything into jeopardy. Yes, having a second opinion can be nice and, quite frankly, settling to the nerves but friends will more than often enough start pointing out things that aren't on your list. "Oh, that sweater's cute!" becomes "Hey, would your son wear this?" which turns into "Oh Becky, I can totally see you in this at the company Christmas party." More often than not, I see women come into my work who had originally come out to buy Christmas presents for others who end up buying 5 different new outfits for themselves instead, thus spending more money, further limiting the budget they originally had for Christmas, and getting nothing done. I use women as an example but it's not only limited to them. Men do it too. If you really need someone's opinion that badly, ask a friend beforehand about items on your list you most definitely made before heading out to the mall. It'll save you some big bucks.
6. Keep a level head. Christmas shopping isn't supposed to be fun and isn't going to be. The parking is going to be terrible. Certain jackass individuals are going to shove you around, fight you for the last of anything, and take ten years at the cash desk. Lineups are going to be long and there's always going to be at least one child screaming and crying about meeting Santa. The crowds will be large, the Christmas music will be blasting in your ear, and the last thing you're going to be feeling is Christmas spirit. It's ok. Take a deep breath. We're all right there with you. Keep in mind who you're doing this for and why. You're out here, on the front line, for the people you love. To make them feel good come Christmas morn. To show, in yet another way, how much you care. So don't fret over the grandmother who just cattle-prodded you to get through the store faster. You have your strategy all set to go and you're saving money to boot. You're untouchable!

Those are my top 6 points though I'm sure there are many more that I didn't even touch on. This is also all completely based on going out to shop. I know there are many who shop online and already got on that. I like to think a couple of the points I've made here still apply and will still help you out somehow. Happy shopping!

To The Men

So, after a long consideration, I finally have a blog post for the men. It took me some time to think of this as I have a little bit of a bias in the men's favour. Just a little one. Putting that bias aside, however, I finally have the perfect message to give out to the guys:

Stop being assholes.


Ok, so that's not the real message but I honestly couldn't help myself with that one. So original, I know. Anyhow, let's try this again. My message for the guys is:

Have some hutzpah to you.


Let me explain. Many of the guys I know are considered the "nice guy" type. They're funny, they're sweet, they care, they put the effort in. They have their close circles of friends whom they treat very well, have their shit together in life, bla bla bla. However, many of them are single. Why is that? Well, because they fall into the Friend Zone and it's because they are too nice. Guys, you have to put yourselves out there. Nice guys rarely ever approach the girl (in my observations). It's all left to chance or letting the chick make the move. That's all well and good to do every once in a while but not for every single potential chick that comes along! Sure, you can be a nice guy but be a nice guy who takes initiative! Walk up to that woman! Get her number! Ask her out! Take her out on a date! Don't fall into the Friend Zone time and again only to wonder why you keep ending up there.


Of course, we women have to take some onus towards the whole Friend Zone thing. We definitely help with that (sorry). However, men have to help themselves here too. Sure, you're a great guy. Awesome. Good on you. You've gone above and beyond the millions of jackasses that exist in this world. What have you done with that good guy status for yourself? Proven that "nice guys finish last". Prove it wrong! The worst that could happen is you get some women who say no. Alright, let them say no. We've already established you're the nice guy so they're missing out, right? You're going to get no's before you finally get a yes and hey, who knows what that yes will turn into? It'll either be heavenly bliss or a fiery hell but the point is that you tried.


Just to reiterate, I'm not saying don't be a nice guy anymore. Do that. We women love the nice guys (deep down we really, really do). Don't be disillusioned for our going for the bad boys. It's just an image thing. We really do want that heart of gold and if you have it why hide it? Why shy away from letting it shine? It can be intimidating, yea, but if no one took chances then no one would get together, right? Last thing we need is all of humankind acting like the dating game is a high school dance where everyone just awkwardly stares at each other from across the gym.


So get out there, nice guys! Do your thing! Get your woman! If she says no, don't let it hurt you. Another woman will come along who is thrilled that a nice guy is taking initiative. Of course, this doesn't apply to all nice guys. There are quite a few go-getters. This is just from my observations which is a very narrow view. That being said, GET TO IT! I want to see dancing and grinding in this gym by New Year's end!

I Am The 1%

I am the sort of person who is stuck in a funk in my life but I won't be blaming it on my government, the economy, or any other third party. I am not going to talk about Occupy Anywhere or about how my generation has been given shit on a platter from the previous generation. That dead horse has been flayed over and over, as it will continue to be.


No, I am working at a minimum wage job that barely offers part-time hours. The job is unforgiving, the company is sinking, management is clueless, and no one is happy as an employee. However, I stay. I stay not because I love my job but because I need the small amount of money that I make there. Finding a new job is difficult so I don't even put the effort in anymore.


I am the small percentage of people who has no ambition or goals. I've no idea what I want to do with my life. No longer do I believe in potential within myself and resign myself to the mediocre. The fear of the new and unknown takes over, as I allow it to. The fear of failing at a new prospect keeps me in my perpetual state of mediocrity and unhappiness. My doubt in my ability to learn anything new (and quickly) keeps me from pursuing even a simple night class. In anything. Not even a hobby.


Many in my age group have at least something to work towards. They're in school, they're self employed, or they have a holy grail of which they're slowly making their way to. A career, a destination, a vision. All I have is the hope that tomorrow might be better. I've never had a lightning strike moment where the answer to the ever-present "What am I going to do?" question was realized and to be honest, I'm fearful of finding out the answer.


I am the minority of people who still lives at home, dreaming of a better future, but holds themselves back from discovering it.  I am the sort who will watch others succeed and thrive while wishing I could somehow do the same (with no one else to blame but myself for not doing so).

I am the 1%.

To The Ladies

This post is specifically for the ladies. Not all of them because, as with any group, there are always exceptions. However, this is to the majority of women out there. We all know we're strong, we're smart, we get shit done. We hold our own and hey, all the power to us. There's just one teensy, tiny thing that women tend to forget that we also attribute to our weaknesses, our frustrations, and use as an outlet.

Ladies, it's not always the men's fault.


I know it's a vague statement but it's also a powerful one. I dare you to think of an ex. Any ex. So many of you are now stirring with rage. Or think of a guy you once liked who never reciprocated your emotions. Mhm, let the anger boil up. Even better, think of a guy who wronged your best friend. Your eye sockets should be overflowing with blood from the hate. That's normal. When we're wronged by someone or if someone messes with our loved ones it's more than normal to want to go Ted Bundy on their asses. However, what (a lot) women tend to do is then blame the entire population of penis-wielding humans for those few people's actions.


Not all men are assholes. Sure, there are tons of male assholes out there. Millions. And let's face it; we women sort of have a rep for always going for the bastards so it makes sense that we'd get disillusioned into thinking that hey, all the men in the world are jerk-asses. Thing is, that isn't fair to the rest of the men. As many douchebags as there are, there are just as many nice guys, good guys, fun guys out there who get friend-zoned by us. I can't tell you how many times I've been obliviously good friends with a guy but the moment he hooks up with someone I go "Damn...he actually might've been a good catch had I given him the time of day in a romantic sense". Hindsight is always 50/50, ladies, but we seem to forget that on a constant basis!


So yes, you've been hurt by a bastard and your emotions are completely valid from that. Just don't go all Hitler on the rest of the male population. There's no sense in becoming a dick-stomping FemiNazi over a few guys who gave up something good, right? Becoming one of those scary, monstrous creatures is really just giving those monkey dicks the upper hand anyhow (which they love, by the way). Keep that in mind so that the next time you're in a relationship, you're not bitch-slapping your boyfriend with your past or stabbing a potential boyfriend with your emotional baggage. Punishing the good guys isn't doing you any favours and is going to keep you back from getting close to one, thus all you're going to get are dickwads, and forever more you'll believe the world is only full of these men out to steal your heart and soul to only do evil with! See? It's an eternal cycle and only you can break it.


There you have it. Simple as that. Feel free to hate on the assholes. Lord knows I do. When you hate, however, just make sure the hate is directed to the right individuals and not to a group as a whole. Specifically the men. We kinda need them for their semen at the very, very least. Population and conception and all that.


To the men who read this out of curiosity, don't think you're off the damn hook. There's going to be a post for you too. Just wanted to start with the ladies because I thought of it first is all. Nothing about being friends with a lot of guys and hanging out with them, drinking with them, and being around them more often or anything. Absolutely not!
/sarcasm

Beauty

When it comes to the topic of beauty, everyone seems to both agree and disagree on what the definition is but all at once. Every person seems to have a different view but then all those views seem to match when we look at what is deemed as "beautiful" in our society. Everywhere you go you see ads on how to make you skinnier, make your hair more healthy looking, how to make you look younger, or how to improve your skin. We're bombarded with the message of "If you don't look like this then you're not good enough" and yet no matter what we do, it never seems to be quite "good enough". It's not an exaggeration to say that the issue of beauty is everywhere. You see the high, unrealistic bar set in magazine ads, commercials, posters and on the radio. There are hundreds of thousands of makeup/beauty tutorials on Youtube that get millions of hits for each one. Celebrities are watched and their styles analyzed, dissected, and reenacted as we everyday people try to look like they do. Keep in mind the issue isn't gender selective. Men are told that hey, if you don't look like Conan the Barbarian with the chiseled abs, the tall height, the sexy "come hither" look then sucks to be you. The women are going to go after the man that does look like him.

But then, maybe he isn't the best example to use....

I've had my own battles with the concept of "beauty". So many times have I heard people say "You'd be so pretty but..." or "If only you had this, you'd look amazing". As one old friend put it to me back in high school, "You're just someone who I always see having skin problems. Other people, like them [points to crowd] not so much but you, yes". As shallow as these people are (and I see their views as such) those comments do take a toll. I see my own faults quite clearly. Having them validated by others just make them all the more clear to me. Yes, my skin isn't perfect. Far from it. Yes, I'm not a size zero in a pant size. I sort of like to eat and drink. No, my boobs aren't up to my chin all perky and perfect. I could go on with everything I'm apparently supposed to be but that I never will be. There's a huge laundry list made up of not only things that I know and can point out but that others have as well. 

That's why I'm throwing out the laundry list (who the hell likes laundry anyway?). 

I've always been my worst critic when it comes to how I appear physically but now being 22 and counting I feel it's time to throw out that shallow and childish way of thinking. There's no way I'm going to look like a magazine ad. There's no way I'm going to look completely perfect in anyway. Hell, there's no way I should even be comparing myself to my friends.

Like this one....*weeps*

I just gotta buckle down and find what's good in myself. It should be pointed out that I'm not always hard on myself. There are days where I go "Damn girl, you strut your stuff because you are looking AWESOME". Absolutely. Thing is, I'm not having enough of those days especially when someone shows up and just makes me look like I'm still in high school (which I get all the time). It's just time to be more ok with what I am. Ok, so I got tons and tons and tons of scars. I'll use it as a filter system. People who are shallow won't want to talk to me and those who aren't won't mind them. Alright, so I'm not the most fit person. There's room for improvement. So maybe I'm not the smallest dress size. Guys like curves, right? At least, that's what porn leads me to believe and there is no denying the porn! 

Getting to the point, it's time that I stop trying to look like this....

And start being more happy with looking like this:

Though if anyone is awesome with Photoshop, that'd still be absolutely grand.

Friendship Highlight: Elin Bäcklund

My friends, welcome to the segment of the program where we kick back, relax, and pay attention to me groveling at the feet of those who deserve it. That's right, it's FH day! To all of those who keep asking me "When are you doing me?" the answer is I'll be doing you later. As in, you've now been pushed back. As in, I'm now making you purposefully wait and wait and wait until you think I'm never going to highlight you...then POW, right in the kisser. Right when you least expect it. I'm going Pearl Harbour on your asses but without the whole "war" thing. That's too expensive for my budget.


Anyhow, this highlight is going out to my dear friend Elin Bäcklund who has been a dear friend to me for quite a few years now (don't ask me how many, I lost track). Even with her being all the way in Sweden and my being here in Canada, we've managed to have a pretty awesome friendship with tons of stories. Not the kind of adventures I've spoken about previously (yet), but we still have memories. 

I don't even know what's more cute; her or the kitten. Elin is the sweetest, nicest, most genuine person I've ever known and is the sort of person that makes me wish I was a better individual. You know, classy, genuinely good, the kind who wouldn't turn over to the Sith side in a heart's beat. Everything I've ever wanted to be as a woman she already is. I can't imagine anyone ever not liking her or wanting to be around her. Her goodness is so contagious that if Hitler was still alive, Elin would've been the next weapon we sent over to defeat him. He would've melted in her ooey goodness. Now, I'm not saying she's a goody two shoes because no one can stand those. No, she knows how to have fun but is also the epitome of the statement of having a heart of gold. That was written just for her (or so I'm convinced). She's also one of the strongest people I know. Not many have known the uphill battle she's had to fight but not only did she fight it but she also won. Took herself on, told herself "Na uh, not today bitch", and dominated. 

Words can't express how proud of her I am and how happy I am to have her as a friend of mine. She's sort of like that cookie you want when you're 3 years old but the jar is too far, yet you still find a way to get that cookie. You're so proud of yourself for getting it that you don't even want to eat it. Elin, you're my cookie. I promise that I won't eat you, though. That'd just be weird ;)

Also, be forewarned that now your nickname is cookie. It's done. In fact, I'm going to try it out right now for size. I love you, cookie <3
Yup, that works nicely.

Ad Perpetuam Rei Memoriam

October 13th is always a tough date for myself and my family. It was my stepfather's birthday. The hooligan was born on Friday the 13th in the month most associated with badassery when it comes to death, ghosts, vampires, and other unChristian things the Vatican frowns upon. He died a few years ago and I miss him dearly to this day. Dearly as in I can be broken down to cry like a little schoolgirl who just learned what a "period" is. However, this year I'm ditching the melancholic vibe. I've done that enough, as has everyone. It's about time I showed the world who he was and not in a mourning fashion but in a celebrating fashion. Well, more poking fun at him and posting embarrassing pictures of him than celebrating but it's all the same thing in my books!

He looks like such a square here, yes, but do not be fooled; he wreaked havoc even back then. I can't tell you how many stories there are about the hell he'd create around him just for shits and giggles. Like how he destroyed his cousin's jeep because he wanted it but couldn't have it (or something along those lines). Also, it is safe to assume that his angelic smile got him out of a lot of crap. I learned a lot about getting out of crap from him but more importantly, I learned how to get into crap. Good ol' crap!

This was "the baby". Screw me, screw my sister who hadn't even been born by this time. THIS was the beloved one and by god this car earned that right. In case you've no idea of the god you're staring at this is what's called a Mazda RX-7. Baby girl would call to my Dad and I early Saturday mornings calling "Kamaaaal....Beeeeth...come ride with meeee". We had absolutely no choice but to bid its calling. To this day, I still hear her inside my very soul.

You only wish your Dad was this cool. The kind of Dad who would sit there and glare into your very soul while you pinned your favourite bow into his hair. The kind of Dad who would only beg this picture would not be shown to the public when your spouse grabs the camera. I don't know why; he rocks the pink bow look. Also, your parents are hoping you're not the kind of child that I am who would then in later years post the picture in a public forum for everyone to see. 

Unfortunately, I can't take credit for the Minnie Mouse ears or the picture. This is my Mother's handywork. In this moment, I'm very proud of her taking advantage of someone while unconscious. My mind is making so many mental notes about the endless possibilities. This was taken when they got married at Disney World and you can bet your ass I got to go. The good days when tie die shirts and Minnie Mouse ears totally didn't clash.

Can you see why my sister and I like hats so much? Hair accessories were this man's "thing". It's a shame the whole tie die shirt thing didn't catch on with us offspring but there's still a few years yet to let that develop. This wig was infamous in the family and made its rounds. I wore it, my Mom wore it, Dad loved it. We could all feel like 80s glam rock stars! Pfft, what am I kidding? Secretly, we are 80s glam rock stars. Go on; be jealous. Our groupies are absolutely legendary.

See? This is the 80s glam rock train, nonstop all the way to Rockville, baby! Denim was all the rage because it was the material that just didn't give a fuck. Dad's not really giving the peace sign there; he's ready to gouge your eyes out if you get any closer with that camera. Screw your pink bows and Minnie Mouse ears! In reality, this was the family on a trip to some farm in a place I can't remember. All I remember is I tried milking a cow and my little sister discovered her love for baby pigs. No, I'm not talking about Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, I mean the animals. God.

I figured it would be nice to end on a "nice" family picture. Especially with a bonus family member in there, my Auntie Binde! This was when Auntie and my uncle Manoj got married. They had some bogus belly dancer who decided to shake her stuff right in front of me. See how young I am here? Can you understand why I'm tainted as a human being now? Do you know the things I've seen?? Anyway, it was a fun night where many of us learned that we will never be stars in a Bollywood movie. Not sure if Dad kept his tie on for very long after this picture. When he partied, he meant Business with a capital B which automatically entails tie-throwing.

This is the man that I remember who made up so much of not only my childhood but also my personality. If it weren't for his music influences, I wouldn't be the rocker/metaler that I am today. I wouldn't have the sense of humour that I do. I wouldn't have the willing spirit in me to kick ass that I do (not like I succeed. Kicking the shins is not a good fighting move). It's still hard to accept that he's gone and I'll always have my moments. Hell, looking at these pictures I know I'll be having one soon. However, the moments I have mean that he's still alive in me and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Nope, not even a pool filled with $50 Billion dollars and lord knows what I would do for that pool of $50 Billion dollars. When the moments are over I still have the good memories and all the lessons I learned from him. I also have the true family and friends who continue to help me get through the loss. It's not an easy process and without them it'd be a helluva lot harder.

So here's to you, Dad. You'd better have WIFI up wherever the hell it is you are and you'd better read this. Mainly because I want you to know that the world sees how you are totally stylin' in that pink bow. I love you, I miss you, and all of us down here are continuing the 80s glam rockstar life for you. You wouldn't believe what a groupie did to me the other day....

Author's Note: Thanks to my uncle, Anoop, for unknowingly supplying me with all the pictures I've used in this blog post. Facebook's awesome/a bitch like that! <3