Photog Friday 2

It's time to take a break from all this PoF talk because it's Photog Friday! Ok, maybe it's not Friday anymore but I'm more than allowed to be a day late on my own blog. There are good reasons! Only a handful of people read this anyhow! Why am I even justifying to YOU?!


Anyhow, moving right along. Last week my pic was nature-related so I decided to change it up this week. Show something a bit different. I enjoy going to metal shows a lot and have been taking concert pics for some time now. This is one of the concert pics that I've taken that really helped me learn more about how to get a good shot, learn about timing, etc.

Pretty brutal, hey? This is the lead guitarist, John, for the band Conducting From The Grave. A decent local band who I had the pleasure of meeting after the show. They played May 31st at the Mod Club and were opening for Annotations of an Autopsy and Dying Fetus. That night was an awesome one. I'm a major fan of AOAA and had made sure to get to the venue hours early so that I had at least a slight chance of meeting them. Instead, I hung out with some of the members from Conducting. They proved to be very relaxed, easy going guys. One of them was even strumming a guitar on the streets and people kept throwing change in his guitar case!

However, I did get to meet the guys of AOAA later on before the show and I snapped many shots of Conducting, AOAA, and Dying Fetus that night. This picture is my favourite out of all them. It's the most clear, the lighting is perfect, and John was a great sport in making eye contact. Back then, the camera I had wasn't the best. The quality was shit, it took ten years for it to take the picture and another ten to process the shot. So you can understand my pleasure at the time of getting this snap :P

After the show, I got to meet all the members of each band (there were 5). Every single person who had been on the stage at one point and time got to sign my torso. At the time, I was in a sort of competition with an old ex of mine and this was my way of getting ahead. I do have a picture of my signed torso but I'm not putting that up here (at least, not right now). It was a good night and I'm very proud of this picture. John himself saw it later on when it was posted on Facebook and he seemed to really like it as well. This is what helps keep me trying my best in concert photography. In this branch of photog, I still have a looooong way to go in learning some new and better techniques but easy does it. There are still many concerts for me to go to.

Just a last note: Blogspot is being a dbag and not letting me embed images like last week, so I'm just uploading picture from my laptop. If you want another gander at my photography account on dA, just Click Me!

Plenty of Fish Part 3

So I waited a little bit longer before writing my next post. Partly because I wanted some time to fully explore the site (OH GOD MY EYES!! THEY BURN!!) and partly because I didn't know where to even begin. I still can't believe that people put themselves through this voluntarily as the PoF system is a broken one. At least, for the most part. Can't discount the times where it does work (See: Michelle and Jessica).


This site seems to have a few different "types" of people who regulate it. For the sake of this blog, I have looked into it. Not personally, mind you. I don't want these people coming anywhere near me in any way, shape, or form, even if it's just online. I went beyond ignoring messages and looking at the "matches" the site set up for me and went to the "MEET ME" part of the site. That's where you get to sift through hundreds and hundreds of pictures of guys and one by one you decide whether you'd ever even consider meeting them or not. You literally get a picture, whatever caption they chose to put to the picture, their age and a link to their profile. That is supposed to be enough for you to determine whether you want to meet someone or not. Despite my disgust at the system, I did this and I'll now detail the different types of men I saw.

The Lonelies: These are the ones who you can just tell have been broken by love in some way or form. Their caption tells you they're specifically looking for a "sweet girl" or a "country girl" or looking for a "sweetheart". Their eyes seem to be swollen with despair and you wouldn't be able to find a smile on their faces even if you offered them a BJ. They are completely broken and you can tell, which leads to pity. Now, for some people the pity card works and I bet there are some who take advantage. Not these people. They are legitimately broken and it breaks your heart. Not enough to contact them or say you'd meet them, but enough that you hope the site works for them so that they don't end up walking to a GO train station and jumping in front of a locomotive (and making me have to go through that inconvenience again).


The Foreigners: One look at these guys and you'll run. For miles. Without stopping. I'm not saying minorities as a whole. Oh no, I mean foreigners. The types who will send only a wink in a message (remember that horror?), who will either look like a deer caught in headlights in their pictures or look like they got hit by the ugly truck after falling out of the ugly tree and hitting every single ugly branch on the way down. There's a look of "I don't care what you do or how old you are but I will make you mine since I have no standards" in their pictures. They're the guys who will stalk a girl at the club and still won't get the message after she throws her drink at him. He'll just take it as she wants another drink. They're creepy, scummy, and will try to seduce you with broken English.


The High-Lifers: These guys are the ones who think they are totally out of your league. They wear sunglasses in every single one of their pictures, show themselves surrounded by girls all the time, dress in suits only, and will make it clear that if you're not a perfect 10 then you're not good enough. Showing off the abs is a particular hit with this kind of PoF user, as is the "not looking for a commitment of any kind" feature on their profile. They like to go to the gym, go clubbing, play sports that require little clothing, and will ask in their caption "Is she out there?" The answer is probably no but you don't want to take a chance in messaging them that.


The Cynic: I find these guys funny but they'd be pissed if they knew that. They'll have captions along the lines of "What's the point?", "Is this even real?", and "You know this is a lie". They think that PoF is a load of shit (they aren't wrong) but still try to use it and find success with it. Their profile will only have a couple pictures on it and their "About Me" will just be a bitchtastic post about how the site is useless, won't work, etc etc and so forth. And yet they continue to use it. I mean, I'm on the site and bitching about it but that's because I'm doing it FOR SCIENCE! These guys are kind of biting the hand that feeds. They'll bitch about the site, no one will talk to them, they'll wonder why no one's giving them a chance, and then bitch more about the site. Well, what the hell else do you expect?? 


The Quirks: These guys are funny too but because they change it up, not because they're sabotaging their own chances of success (see previous type). They'll actually use humour as a means of getting your attention. Not the accidental kind of humour that makes you laugh because of how stupid they are, but the humour that they know will be appreciated. These guys usually have a weird or funny expression on their faces in their pictures or show themselves out doing something random with friends...like meeting Darth Vader or sommat. They actually seem like they might have a chance in meeting someone because they look normal, seem nice, have a good sense of humour....but then that irks you and makes you suspicious. Such people don't usually need sites like PoF. So what's his issue? What's his problem? Why's he single and using this?


The Jock/Guido: Oh yes, ladies and gents, they're here too. Thought you escaped them when you graduated high school? Think again. Instead of taking over the schoolyard or the cafeteria, they've taken over PoF. To be fair, it does seem like a good place for them but I was just so surprised at how many of them are on this site! Now, they're a lot like The High Lifers. They do the sunglasses thing, they go on about how they go to the gym/play sports, show off their abs, all that jazz. However, they're not as egocentric as The High Lifers. They don't need a 10. Actually, quite a few of them will mention they want a relationship and are going for the "cute" type (whatever the hell that is). Of course, there are douchey jocks/guidos who will quote rap lyrics, show themselves driving a car you can tell is totally not theirs, or has pics of him holding bottles of vodka in a club.


The Gangstas: Yup, they're on PoF too and in spades. In fact, many of the messages I've received thus far have been from this group (hence why they've been ignored). Their captions are the funniest. Things like "Ur a fat kid im a smartie" and "Need a girl with swagg", or the ever original "I can make ur bedrock". The spelling is atrocious, their pictures are of them trying hard to look like toughened criminals (usually with some shotty photomanipulation work), and their obsession with the word "real" is something I cannot understand. All of them go on about wanting to find someone who's "real". Well, good luck to them because with how fake they're being I can't imagine they'll find anyone who's anymore "real" than they are.


The Genuines: These are guys who look like they're nice, have it together, will check their spelling, have a nice smile, show themselves with friends, and give off the easy-going vibe. Unfortunately, just like The Quirks, this works against them. The mindset is that usually such people don't need dating sites to get anyone; women flock to those types. So what's the issue with this person? Are they insane? Did they kill a man? Will he smell my underwear when I'm not around? It lays doubt in the mind. Their captions will usually say something about how gorgeous you are or how they're the last gentleman or how they're "just trying this out". I legitimately feel for these guys because the doubt their goodness puts in the mind of others means that The High Lifers will probably get more hits than they do....which is actually something that happens in RL too, come to think of it.

There are more types but I'm leaving it at that for now. The traffic around me has slowed down on PoF, which is nice. It seems that even online people are too damn afraid to message first or make a move or put themselves out there. Unless they're creepy guys who just want to smell your underwear when you're not around. Keep doing your laundry, ladies. You never know when you might be hit next.

Plenty of Fish Part 2

I can't believe I'm already writing this.


The last few hours have been terrifying. Yes, that's right: I've only had an account on POF for a few hours and I'm already thinking about how big of a mistake I've made. Nothing could have prepared me for this. How do people voluntarily subject themselves to this sort of thing in order to find anything from a soul mate to an easy lay that you could get down at your local neighbourhood bar? It's a legitimate question!


I made my profile and I'll have you know I didn't sabotage it one bit. I was as honest as honest could be. Filled out the survey, gave all my info. Hell, I even threw in a few pictures for good measure. In my "About Me" I made a Star Wars joke, warned people that I'm "rough around the edges" and my header for my profile is "Metal Chick; Good Luck Keeping Up :)" Hey, I thought it was clever at the time and apparently it did the trick. Not even an hour had passed by and already I'd received numerous messages. No one from anyone I'd even give a second glance at on the street, mind you, but messages all the same. Oh my lord were some of them funny.


Some guys went the "What's your favourite band?" route. That's fine. That's picking something out of my interests and trying to start a conversation with me based on that. It's a good route. Or it would be for anyone willing to go down that forsaken path Mr. Needs A Dental Plan. Other men tried to be personal, tried to say how I seem to have a "real vibe" and tried to play it real smooth. Sorry black guys but I'm not into you. No offense. One guy in particular didn't even write anything. He just sent me a winky face. I can't tell you how quickly I saw my life pass before my eyes from that one, mere emoticon. Needless to say he didn't get a response either.


This went on. From guys with unibrows to guys who were old enough to be my dad, to guys who were younger than me (a no no), to one man trying to impress me with the fact that he owned his own gas station. Now, I'm not going to trample on what could have been his legitimate childhood dreams in owning a gas station. Everyone has dreams. I'm just not going to share that dream with an Indian guy who is about twice my age is all. 


Then came Ian: the one and only guy (thus far) to message me about black metal. Pretty cool so I messaged him back about it. Took a peek at his profile and ooo...not good. 29? Uh uh. Yet I thought to myself Self, don't panic. This is for SCIENCE! Actually, no. That's what my two friends told me as I flailed about and panicked over Skype and msn to them! I listened to them, however. We chatted. He added me on msn. FOR SCIENCE! Except Ian wasn't about to give much to science. In the half hour that we talked I learned he was a casual metalhead who's a chef in Toronto and is someone who has a vinyl collection. The excitement was so much that I had to drop out of the conversation. He's such a dynamic person that I'm currently waiting for him to go offline so I can block and delete him from my msn forever. 


Weather Update: Chance of sarcastic showers going to be 100% today. Bring your umbrellas because it's not going to be pretty.


This site is a joke. An absolute joke. It's more of a meat market than anything. You can literally scan through pictures, choose the ones you like best, and hope you get a reply when you message someone. If I wanted to date like that, I'd just go to a bar on a Friday night wearing nothing but a bandeau and some booty shorts. I'd get the same results as what I've seen thus far on PoF. What's scary is this is what I've experienced in only a mere few hours. I don't see how this is going to get any better. I only foresee this getting worse. Christ, I had a guy who's username is Irish Hooligan (a real winner) try to chat me up and when I refused, would actually message me his disappointment in the form of exclamations.


Thankfully, to help me through this, I have my friends. Oddly enough, friends who themselves also have or have had accounts but friends nonetheless! They've soothed me when I've felt my life at danger, calmed me when I've panicked at the thought of ex's finding my profile somehow (would it really matter if they knew the context?), reassured me in my darkest hour, reminded me that this is FOR SCIENCE! While I can't claim that this is a scientific experiment it most certainly is an experiment of some kind. Though now I can't decide if it's a social experiment or an experiment to see how long I can last in this before I break. Sort of like a virtual game of chicken except I know I'm going to lose. It's just a matter of when.


For those of you interested to see just what I did with my profile, have a peek. Tried my best to come off as not-so-crazy but who knows what crazy is these days?
Click Me!

Plenty of Fish Part 1

I'm a single lady and no, I'm not looking for a man to put a ring on it. As much as I like being in a relationship, I also like not being in one. Being single means I get to do what I want, how I want to, when I want to, with whomever I choose. There's no having to check in with another person to get their approval of things. There's no relationship drama to deal with. If I so chose, I could get into a 12 person drunken orgy full of women and men alike and there'd be no (relationship) repercussions. Now, not only would I never take part in said orgy but I also don't believe in dumping on relationships altogether. They can be something really good and really special once you find someone who is compatible with you to share it with. Some of the most fun times I've ever had has been when I'm been with someone (note: SOME of the most fun times). However, right now I'm in my "I'm single and happy 'bout it" phases with no intention of changing that anytime soon.


However, I have dear friends. Very dear friends. Usually, dear friends have concerns, especially when I'm single. Lately, the campaign has been for me to join Plenty of Fish, a dating site that doesn't take money from you. Just your face and your soul, plasters it on a profile and whores you out to different men until you find one you can stand. Ok, no, it's not that bad. It's just a dating site that tries to match you up with other people. Unless you couldn't figure out from my initial description of the site, I'm not the biggest fan of it or the idea of joining it. Why? Well, let me tell you!


First off, I'm someone who can be really open-minded but at the same time I can be set in my ways. A walking contradiction, if you will. When it comes to online dating it's not something I'm overly comfortable with for myself. I can't stress that enough. I know other people who have had raging success with the site. One of my best friends of all time has met someone truly special a la POF and one of my mom's closest friends has also found someone after being divorced and a single parent for umpteen years. So I'm not judging those who do use the site or any dating site. It's just that for me, personally, I know that if I were to go down that sort of avenue to find a date or a boyfriend or whatever then I'd be doing it for A) A joke or B) Out of desperation. Usually, I like to let life take its course when it comes to relationships. I've never had to go out looking for someone. They've always landed right in my lap. Granted, they haven't been the best relationships seeing as how none of them have worked but I've learned something from each one and have emerged a better person as thus. To tinker with that seems sort of wrong to me and I'd have to either not be serious about it or be DYING to be with someone in order to screw around with the way life goes (for me).


Secondly, I've (sort of) done the online thing before. My first serious relationship was with someone I met on an art site. We weren't looking for it or anything but a friendship through that means eventually led to a relationship. It's not a fun thing. It's full of frustrations and distance and constantly having to explain to people how you met. Yes, POF finds people who are geographically close to you but nothing it set in stone that I'll still be where I am for long. In fact, I'm counting on that. So what if I do meet someone and then boom, I move hours away? Then it's a long distance thing and I absolutely refuse to ever do that again. I've done that for 5 and a half years before. Never. Ever. Again. 


Thirdly, POF is a free dating site. There's no money, no investment, therefore no risk. You know who's going to take advantage of such a system? Creeps looking for easy lays. This isn't as common on sites like Match.com or eHarmony because you pay quite a bit to get into their system, have them analyze who you are, and then match you up with your potential sweetie pie. I'm not saying it doesn't happen (there are examples saying otherwise) but it seems rampant on POF because it's free. Pay no money, tell a girl what she wants to hear, get her in bed, then disappear before she has time to say "I love you". Still don't believe me? Go find a friend of yours who has a profile on the site (I'd bet money you have at least one) and ask them for a POF horror story. Everyone has at least one. I'm already bitter and skeptical enough about humanity as a whole, let alone relationships. I really don't need someone else to come along and try to play peek-a-boo with my underwear as they try to tell me how much they like me, how amazing I am, how pretty I am, you know the bullshit drill.


Fourthly, the kind of guys I usually go for wouldn't ever go on POF. For anyone who's reading this and has NO CLUE who I am, I'm a metalhead. I go to shows and get whiplash from myself. I get bruises from strangers and like it. I can understand growling and screaming (mostly). I can appreciate the macabre art on album covers and t-shirts. Most of all, I love the music. There's just something about metal that completes me in a way I can't explain. Metal guys are what I go for and you don't need to have anything past a gr.1 education to know what that entails. As such, I don't even need to go into detail about how metal guys would never be caught dead having a POF account. Some have said "You need to try a different kind of guy. Obviously, metal guys aren't doing it for you." Not all metal guys are completely alike. That'd just be boring. And if you've ever been with a metal guy then you know how hard it is to quit them once you've had 'em! :P


So those are the reasons why I would never have a POF account. As such, I'm going back on my word completely and making one for the sole purpose of this blog to document just what I encounter. I highly doubt I'm going to meet anyone who I've any interest in, shares any of my interests, or any of that. If I do meet someone then the last test they can pass is being completely ok with the fact that I subjected them to what seems to be a sociology experiment :P I'm still a big fan of randomly meeting people and having things go from there but let's see what happens when I try this. I expect no results and many laughs, which is exactly what I want. Being single's fun. I sure as hell don't need no ring on it.

Adventures I

Everyone has "stories". I'm not talking about those inspirational, Rocky-music, fill-your-heart-full-of-goodness stories. I'm talking about stories where your dignity is chipped away at with each new detail, making the eardrums of your audience explode. The stories you tell with whatever little pride you have left over from the events that make up your stories. The stories you'd never, ever tell your future children or grandchildren unless you wanted to teach them one helluva dire lesson. I, for one, not only love such stories but also have a few of my own. My joy in creating such stories is a dangerous one; ask anyone who's ever hung out with me, drank with me, agreed to "get together", etc. There always seems to be something that happens. It's never a normal outing. It's never "nice" or "innocent". There's always something that has to go down and has to later be shared with others (usually at my expense). I call these stories Adventures and I love them. The way I see it, I'm still young and have a common blood type in case anything does happen to me. Why not live it up a little? We only live once, right? That motto of living has left me with many an Adventure.

This picture was taken during one such adventure. I no longer live in my hometown, which makes meeting up with my friends all the more fun. During my last visit, my friends and I decided to continue our long tradition of going out to karaoke. This is something we do every single time I visit. It's a must. We go to any random pub offering a karaoke night and we dominate. This particular time I made new friends, got together with old friends, and had drinks bought for me. As a result, try to guess which one I am in the picture above.

Needless to say, I got wasted. Not tipsy, not giggly, not happy, not any other term for half-assed drunkeness. I was more drunk than I had been a long time. I had some shots (not sure how many), some triple screwdrivers (not sure how many), some water to ensure I didn't feel the consequences the next day, and an attitude of "We need to live for the now! DRINK MORE! BE LOUD! MAKE MEMORIES!" This is the attitude I get whenever I drink. Some call it "adventurous". A new friend I made, Adam, called it "fun" (kudos to you for recognizing that, Adam). Anyone who's my friend knows the risks involved when drinking with me. That night I got beer goggled like you wouldn't believe towards a man who I thought looked like my ex (who really didn't look like my ex). I verbally tore a new one in a man who only wanted to see me headbang...I thought he was challenging me to a headbanging-off. I danced with strangers while other strangers sang songs I can't remember. I tried to take a bus home when my friend Amanda's "date" (I drunkenly set them up) had driven us to the pub. 

Shown: Class and elegance

I was so wasted I barely even remember going to Zak's Diner afterwards with my friends. Apparently I bought a milkshake and my poor friend, Amanda, had to walk me to the washroom. Mental note: stairs are not a drunk's best friend. However, I have no regrets. As I said before, I firmly believe we only live once. Why not make the most of it while we're here? The very worst we can do is have picture proof on an online blog for our future children to see and learn how not to act how mommy did when she was younger. I'm prepared to be that sort of role model.

Also, a warning; I will probably post in the future about other "stories" and Adventures I have in my back pocket. To any family that reads this, I'm sort of sorry. Sorry you had to see this but at least you now know what to expect if you ever dare have a family reunion!