Well, I've had it. Reached my limit. Hit the end of my patience. I have deleted my PoF account and I cannot tell you how liberated I feel in doing so. Sure, I got some good stories, had a few laughs. However, there's no way in HELL I'll ever do something like that ever again.
Now, to be fair, I did make a new friend who's into metal and all that jazz (Hi John!). I can't deny that. Also, as I've pointed out before, I know a few other people who have had success in finding some pretty decent people on PoF. All the power to them. They must be the most patient people in the world. Being on that site for a week made me lose a part of my soul I'll never get back. I am forever tainted when it comes to what's now the norm for the dating world. Don't fool yourselves. Online dating is the greatest thing in matchmaking since sliced bread, It's kicking up a storm and not just among the desperados who wouldn't even get a life partner if they paid good money for it.
That all being said it's just not something that I feel I need or want. I'm single and damn proud of it. No, it's not a feminist, power-to-the-ladies thing. I hate that FemiNazi crap (that's a new rant for another time). It's more about being my own person, doing what I want, how I want to, when I want, with who I want to. I know I sound like a broken record because I've touched on this so many times but it's true. That's so important to me. Do I miss being with someone? Absolutely. There are definitely some perks to being a couple, quite a few of which I can't state here because now my family reads this (I'm so sorry, dear family). The more innocent perks include being able to discover the other person, share new things with them, always have a partner in crime to do things with and have someone to talk to. Everyone misses having that after some alone time. However, I'm not really ready to impose myself on another person and I'm most certainly not willing to settle on just anyone just to have someone.
That's the feeling I got on PoF; that so many people were there just to find somebody, anybody. Didn't matter who you were, what you did, what your interests were. As long as you were capable of love (which everyone is) and close by, that's all it took. I can't tell you how many messages I got from people who normally would never even consider me if they ever met me on the street. I'm not approachable in person and I sure as hell didn't make myself out to be all that approachable on PoF. Yet still they messaged me, calling me obscene things like "beautiful", "gorgeous", "cute", "sexy" and other unmentionables. I'm not those things. People who know me know I'm not those things. Nor do I strive to be those things. So what the hell is up? Well, it's that loneliness can be a killer to people who can't handle it. I mean, can you see a ghetto guy walking up to me in a public place and asking me for my number when I'm wearing my metal garb? No. So why does it happen online?
I'm not going to theorize that it has to do with the blissful anonymity that comes with the internet because PoF can be pretty damn personal. You are pretty much told to post pictures of yourself on your profile and if you don't, your chances of finding someone are close to nil. They want you to fill out surveys to pinpoint your personality and relationship needs. You're urged to write as much about yourself in the About Me section as you possibly can or else face a lifetime of loneliness watching chick flicks alone in your mother's basement (the only person who will ever love you). Essentially you put everything about yourself up on that site in hopes that someone will stumble upon you and go "Yea! They're worth my care and affection based on hobbies and a picture!" What I am going to theorize is that a lot of people hit up PoF as a last resort. They've tried the bars, they've tried the dating scene, they've tried to just live life and not care and they have found nothing in their efforts. So they turn to online dating which still has such a stigma around it that it's insane. Countless people had their header on their profile as "Willing to lie where we met". Really? Is it that embarrassing to meet someone online?
Back to my original point, PoF being a last resort. Yes. So they try this site that promises of success and women/men, happiness and love, sex and comfort, all just waiting for you at the click of a mouse! So these people sign up, make a profile, do as they're told concerning About Me and their pictures, and hope for the best. Then you learn about messaging. Sounds simple, right? If you stumble upon someone you like then you just send a message to them to initiate conversation. It's the online version of buying that girl at the bar her next drink. What's so bad about that? Well, what's bad about it is not only is it horrifyingly intimidating but most of the time messages don't even get replied to. I was guilty of this to a T. The majority of messages I got I didn't respond to. One poor guy got a hell of a lashing from me when I was in a bad mood not even related to PoF. Imagine getting that all the time when you try to reach out to a girl who you think might be good for you. Then it becomes a numbers game. The more people you message, the more likely you are to get a response right?. And that's where people like me start getting messages from guys who initially signed up looking for a good, Christian, country girl.
Again, I can't repeat enough that it's not everyone on PoF who are like this and my intent isn't to upset or offend anyone who's used the site and liked it or found success with it. This is just my own personal experience with it and as such, my own personal theories. When it comes to finding someone I believe it's best to not look. Enjoy yourself. Live your life. Do what you want to do. That's when love will come along and give you the slap across the face that you've been waiting for. Better yet, the slap won't come from a crazy person or someone who's desperately creepy. It'll come from someone who will apologize profusely for it, offer to take you to the hospital if your jaw is broken, stay with you in the E.R for hours, and will hold up your slusherized steak-in-a-cup to your face so you can sip it through a straw. Yea, the right kind of person you want slapping you with love. That and you won't have wasted time sighing and pining over a relationship that yes, someday you will get. You'll be putting that time towards something so much better like taking a class, moving up in your job, going to school, or doing what I do which is getting your ass kicked at metal shows (another story for another time).
Everyone finds love in different ways. Whether it be online, in a bar, at a club, at the movies, in Starbucks, at a convention, stalking the same celebrity, it really doesn't matter. As long as you do what's ok for you and you're happy. I'm just perfectly happy doing dick all about it and continuing to let (probably unsuccessful) relationships fall into my lap :)
