Beauty

When it comes to the topic of beauty, everyone seems to both agree and disagree on what the definition is but all at once. Every person seems to have a different view but then all those views seem to match when we look at what is deemed as "beautiful" in our society. Everywhere you go you see ads on how to make you skinnier, make your hair more healthy looking, how to make you look younger, or how to improve your skin. We're bombarded with the message of "If you don't look like this then you're not good enough" and yet no matter what we do, it never seems to be quite "good enough". It's not an exaggeration to say that the issue of beauty is everywhere. You see the high, unrealistic bar set in magazine ads, commercials, posters and on the radio. There are hundreds of thousands of makeup/beauty tutorials on Youtube that get millions of hits for each one. Celebrities are watched and their styles analyzed, dissected, and reenacted as we everyday people try to look like they do. Keep in mind the issue isn't gender selective. Men are told that hey, if you don't look like Conan the Barbarian with the chiseled abs, the tall height, the sexy "come hither" look then sucks to be you. The women are going to go after the man that does look like him.

But then, maybe he isn't the best example to use....

I've had my own battles with the concept of "beauty". So many times have I heard people say "You'd be so pretty but..." or "If only you had this, you'd look amazing". As one old friend put it to me back in high school, "You're just someone who I always see having skin problems. Other people, like them [points to crowd] not so much but you, yes". As shallow as these people are (and I see their views as such) those comments do take a toll. I see my own faults quite clearly. Having them validated by others just make them all the more clear to me. Yes, my skin isn't perfect. Far from it. Yes, I'm not a size zero in a pant size. I sort of like to eat and drink. No, my boobs aren't up to my chin all perky and perfect. I could go on with everything I'm apparently supposed to be but that I never will be. There's a huge laundry list made up of not only things that I know and can point out but that others have as well. 

That's why I'm throwing out the laundry list (who the hell likes laundry anyway?). 

I've always been my worst critic when it comes to how I appear physically but now being 22 and counting I feel it's time to throw out that shallow and childish way of thinking. There's no way I'm going to look like a magazine ad. There's no way I'm going to look completely perfect in anyway. Hell, there's no way I should even be comparing myself to my friends.

Like this one....*weeps*

I just gotta buckle down and find what's good in myself. It should be pointed out that I'm not always hard on myself. There are days where I go "Damn girl, you strut your stuff because you are looking AWESOME". Absolutely. Thing is, I'm not having enough of those days especially when someone shows up and just makes me look like I'm still in high school (which I get all the time). It's just time to be more ok with what I am. Ok, so I got tons and tons and tons of scars. I'll use it as a filter system. People who are shallow won't want to talk to me and those who aren't won't mind them. Alright, so I'm not the most fit person. There's room for improvement. So maybe I'm not the smallest dress size. Guys like curves, right? At least, that's what porn leads me to believe and there is no denying the porn! 

Getting to the point, it's time that I stop trying to look like this....

And start being more happy with looking like this:

Though if anyone is awesome with Photoshop, that'd still be absolutely grand.