So I waited a little bit longer before writing my next post. Partly because I wanted some time to fully explore the site (OH GOD MY EYES!! THEY BURN!!) and partly because I didn't know where to even begin. I still can't believe that people put themselves through this voluntarily as the PoF system is a broken one. At least, for the most part. Can't discount the times where it does work (See: Michelle and Jessica).
This site seems to have a few different "types" of people who regulate it. For the sake of this blog, I have looked into it. Not personally, mind you. I don't want these people coming anywhere near me in any way, shape, or form, even if it's just online. I went beyond ignoring messages and looking at the "matches" the site set up for me and went to the "MEET ME" part of the site. That's where you get to sift through hundreds and hundreds of pictures of guys and one by one you decide whether you'd ever even consider meeting them or not. You literally get a picture, whatever caption they chose to put to the picture, their age and a link to their profile. That is supposed to be enough for you to determine whether you want to meet someone or not. Despite my disgust at the system, I did this and I'll now detail the different types of men I saw.
The Lonelies: These are the ones who you can just tell have been broken by love in some way or form. Their caption tells you they're specifically looking for a "sweet girl" or a "country girl" or looking for a "sweetheart". Their eyes seem to be swollen with despair and you wouldn't be able to find a smile on their faces even if you offered them a BJ. They are completely broken and you can tell, which leads to pity. Now, for some people the pity card works and I bet there are some who take advantage. Not these people. They are legitimately broken and it breaks your heart. Not enough to contact them or say you'd meet them, but enough that you hope the site works for them so that they don't end up walking to a GO train station and jumping in front of a locomotive (and making me have to go through that inconvenience again).
The Foreigners: One look at these guys and you'll run. For miles. Without stopping. I'm not saying minorities as a whole. Oh no, I mean foreigners. The types who will send only a wink in a message (remember that horror?), who will either look like a deer caught in headlights in their pictures or look like they got hit by the ugly truck after falling out of the ugly tree and hitting every single ugly branch on the way down. There's a look of "I don't care what you do or how old you are but I will make you mine since I have no standards" in their pictures. They're the guys who will stalk a girl at the club and still won't get the message after she throws her drink at him. He'll just take it as she wants another drink. They're creepy, scummy, and will try to seduce you with broken English.
The High-Lifers: These guys are the ones who think they are totally out of your league. They wear sunglasses in every single one of their pictures, show themselves surrounded by girls all the time, dress in suits only, and will make it clear that if you're not a perfect 10 then you're not good enough. Showing off the abs is a particular hit with this kind of PoF user, as is the "not looking for a commitment of any kind" feature on their profile. They like to go to the gym, go clubbing, play sports that require little clothing, and will ask in their caption "Is she out there?" The answer is probably no but you don't want to take a chance in messaging them that.
The Cynic: I find these guys funny but they'd be pissed if they knew that. They'll have captions along the lines of "What's the point?", "Is this even real?", and "You know this is a lie". They think that PoF is a load of shit (they aren't wrong) but still try to use it and find success with it. Their profile will only have a couple pictures on it and their "About Me" will just be a bitchtastic post about how the site is useless, won't work, etc etc and so forth. And yet they continue to use it. I mean, I'm on the site and bitching about it but that's because I'm doing it FOR SCIENCE! These guys are kind of biting the hand that feeds. They'll bitch about the site, no one will talk to them, they'll wonder why no one's giving them a chance, and then bitch more about the site. Well, what the hell else do you expect??
The Quirks: These guys are funny too but because they change it up, not because they're sabotaging their own chances of success (see previous type). They'll actually use humour as a means of getting your attention. Not the accidental kind of humour that makes you laugh because of how stupid they are, but the humour that they know will be appreciated. These guys usually have a weird or funny expression on their faces in their pictures or show themselves out doing something random with friends...like meeting Darth Vader or sommat. They actually seem like they might have a chance in meeting someone because they look normal, seem nice, have a good sense of humour....but then that irks you and makes you suspicious. Such people don't usually need sites like PoF. So what's his issue? What's his problem? Why's he single and using this?
The Jock/Guido: Oh yes, ladies and gents, they're here too. Thought you escaped them when you graduated high school? Think again. Instead of taking over the schoolyard or the cafeteria, they've taken over PoF. To be fair, it does seem like a good place for them but I was just so surprised at how many of them are on this site! Now, they're a lot like The High Lifers. They do the sunglasses thing, they go on about how they go to the gym/play sports, show off their abs, all that jazz. However, they're not as egocentric as The High Lifers. They don't need a 10. Actually, quite a few of them will mention they want a relationship and are going for the "cute" type (whatever the hell that is). Of course, there are douchey jocks/guidos who will quote rap lyrics, show themselves driving a car you can tell is totally not theirs, or has pics of him holding bottles of vodka in a club.
The Gangstas: Yup, they're on PoF too and in spades. In fact, many of the messages I've received thus far have been from this group (hence why they've been ignored). Their captions are the funniest. Things like "Ur a fat kid im a smartie" and "Need a girl with swagg", or the ever original "I can make ur bedrock". The spelling is atrocious, their pictures are of them trying hard to look like toughened criminals (usually with some shotty photomanipulation work), and their obsession with the word "real" is something I cannot understand. All of them go on about wanting to find someone who's "real". Well, good luck to them because with how fake they're being I can't imagine they'll find anyone who's anymore "real" than they are.
The Genuines: These are guys who look like they're nice, have it together, will check their spelling, have a nice smile, show themselves with friends, and give off the easy-going vibe. Unfortunately, just like The Quirks, this works against them. The mindset is that usually such people don't need dating sites to get anyone; women flock to those types. So what's the issue with this person? Are they insane? Did they kill a man? Will he smell my underwear when I'm not around? It lays doubt in the mind. Their captions will usually say something about how gorgeous you are or how they're the last gentleman or how they're "just trying this out". I legitimately feel for these guys because the doubt their goodness puts in the mind of others means that The High Lifers will probably get more hits than they do....which is actually something that happens in RL too, come to think of it.
There are more types but I'm leaving it at that for now. The traffic around me has slowed down on PoF, which is nice. It seems that even online people are too damn afraid to message first or make a move or put themselves out there. Unless they're creepy guys who just want to smell your underwear when you're not around. Keep doing your laundry, ladies. You never know when you might be hit next.
No comments:
Post a Comment